From the very beginning of our relationship we knew we wanted to be parents and to be parents sooner rather than later. However, my long time struggle with poly-cystic ovaries would prove to make that very difficult. The first time my condition was confirmed I was only 14 and an ultrasound revealed over 50 small cysts on my left ovary alone. I was devastated to hear that the continued build up of scar tissue would eventually make conception difficult to impossible when the time came. So despite the many terrible symptoms and side effects of the dozens of types of birth control I was prescribed, I continued to take them with the hope that they would one day make pregnancy more possible.
A few months after my 15th birthday I did receive something of a significant comfort, when I chose to get my patriarchal blessing. The shortest paragraph of nearly two pages brought me the most comfort. I was promised that according to my faith and righteousness that I would be healed. I was overwhelmed with gratitude from the promise of this blessing. So from then on, all of the excruciating pain and constant sickness brought on by the hormone imbalances of both my body and the birth control, seemed to be just a little more bearable.
Now onto the conception... Since I don't really want to get into the details of our 'baby making' habits, lets just say it was even more difficult than I had thought. After a year and a half of negative pregnancy tests, stress, frustrations/devastation and tears (lots of tears), it managed to get worse. (Caution: the following may be a little TMI, read at own risk.) Starting in the middle of April I had a very heavy menstruation that lasted more than 30 days! I was eventually forced into hospitalization by my husband and was expecting the worst. I feared tumors, ruptured fallopian tubes (which I was at high risk for), endometriosis and more. Other than my cystically overrun ovaries and a low blood count (surprise, surprise) all the tests and ultrasounds were normal. So they put me back on a month of my dreaded birth control and sent me on my way. As frustrating as it is to be put on birth control when you're trying to get pregnant and when you hate it as much as I do... It's still much better than the alternative of surgery. So I took it begrudgingly and before I knew it the month was over. Normally Ifollowed my ovulation schedule very carefully, would take my hundredth ovulation test and stress every second for two weeks after ovulation. This month however, I didn't think much of it. I guess I thought I couldn't really get pregnant after the stress my body had been through the previous month and that the birth control would still be in my system. (good thing I never had to practice safe sex, I think I would have definitely gotten pregnant) I only took the pregnancy test because I just had a feeling... I wasn't even late yet and even that is normal for me, since I don't ovulate regularly. Anyway, I guess what they say about not thinking about getting pregnant is true. Without the stress or fear of yet another letdown your body just does what it's supposed to. Easier said than done though. I received the advice not to think about it from dozens of people but when you want something so badly, it's the only thing you think about! But here I am now, almost half way through my pregnancy and absolutely ecstatic!
Although I may be ecstatic, my actual pregnancy has been all but joyous so far. At 11 weeks I was told I had Hyperemesis Gravidarum. It's a severe form of morning sickness (I like to think of it as morning, noon, and night sickness) that is categorized by losing more than 5% of your pre-pregnancy body weight. I got up to 13%. Symptoms include: dehydration, unrelenting nausea, nutritional deficiencies, migraines, confusion, fainting, liver failure and more. All of which I had, including a really nasty rash brought on by the liver failure. As far as treatment goes though, I've been pretty lucky. I've been able to get by on daily Zofran, IV treatments and bed rest. (Another caution of TMI) With the IV treatments, they put you on a drip until you can pee and the average is 2 1/2 bags. My first treatment they did nearly 5. Needless to say I was pretty dehydrated since I couldn't keep down water. The second time I got 4 bags, and hopefully the numbers keep going down and I can get off bed rest for the sake of my sanity!!! At first, the idea of bed rest was pretty nice. Sit at watch movies all day and be waited on hand and foot. Was I ever WRONG! For those of you who know me I'm pretty independent, and sitting on my butt while I watch my husband cook, clean and do everything for me is impossible! As nice as it may sound, I don't recommend it to anyone! Villi's been a trooper though. Putting up with my daily emotional roller-coaster, my inability to be touched, and my many food aversions, he's done surprisingly well. I'm so grateful to him and have no clue what I would do without him. I just hope it gets better from here on out. I don't know how much more we can handle. :)
One last thing. We find out what were having on the 29th of October and I am so excited!!! So stay tuned for that post coming up soon. Oh, and apologies for the many typing errors. Most of my blogging is being done and 4:00AM when I can't sleep. Until next time.
Sorry for the expression on my face. I really don't like pictures taken. (4 month tummy)